If only

If only I was smarter. If only I graduated with a degree in something else. If only I accepted that AmeriCorps position. If only I hadn't made that mistake and if only that situation had turned out differently.
There are countless things in the past I am guilty of wanting to change. But the truth is that I am not perfect and life wasn't made easy. The times when I wanted to give up and those that almost killed me are the ones that made me stronger. The times I was stupid are important lessons for the future.
But now it's time to move forward and see the light ahead. The best is yet to come.

Letting go but not giving up

These past 4 months were a whirlwind of all emotions - happiness, sadness, excitement, anger, disappointment, etc. caused by my own decisions and leading me to realize that all things lead me to where I am today. Even when things don't turn out well, it's a matter of resilience and determination to continue on the journey and to keep dreaming.
I'll start off with my post graduation plan. I had high hopes and big dreams. The only thing I wanted to do was join AmeriCorps, work with a a nonprofit organization and promote healthy living. I was very determined, applied to many programs and interviewed with many organizations. The whole process was long and tiring, especially the waiting period. I really had no other intention to do anything else even if this didn't work out because I really believed that it would happen. And happen it did. It was the best interview I've ever had and left feeling very confident. Even though it was over the phone, I could tell that these people were ones that I wanted to work with. After I received the acceptance email, I was very excited and relieved to share with everyone. I finally had a plan the summer after college and I finally had my life somewhat figured out. BUT it wasn't that easy. I eventually declined the position because of parental (over)-protection. Some say I should have accepted the position anyway but I wasn't too rebellious at the time. One month later I was still regretting the decision but somehow I had a glimmer of hope that if I got this position there has to be other opportunities out there. Who knows, maybe I wouldn't have enjoyed AmeriCorps as much as I had thought it to be. So here I am, at my desk at home still determined to follow my dreams but this time in the food industry. I won't lie though. The first two weeks back home weren't the easiest especially with my parents. Today is actually the first day of service for the Pittsburgh Health Corps. Although I do feel a bit sad about not being there, I know that there is no use in hanging on to it because there are better things ahead. The thing with moving on is acceptance and knowledge that there is still more ahead.  
Moving on also means leaving some people behind. I want everyone to be happy and happy together but the sad truth is that people change and some are just meant to be strangers. As much as I tried to fix a complicated friendship, I was the one putting in more effort. I knew that to be true but I was still hopeful that things would be better. That summer would give us more time. I just didn't want to accept the possibility of not being friends anymore. Looking back now, I'm still not completely sure how deep this friendship even was or what the intentions were. It was definitely a learning experience and I know now that it's best to not expect too much and just let things happen if they happen. The feeling of being free beats any feelings of hurt and sadness any day.

One month later - the post-grad life

Oh college, where have you gone? It's exactly 4 weeks since I've been back home in New Jersey. It's been tough and a little frustrating just lazing around and job searching. College feels so long ago and the people feel so far away. For the past 4 years, I lived in Madison, Wisconsin where I was independent, able to explore a new place and meet many new people. I lived, learned, cried, laughed and experienced both highs and lows. I've made lifelong friends who I could really be myself with. It was definitely the best 4 years of my life so far. What's weird is that I thought I'd be missing Madison way more than I am right now. Don't get me wrong... I love Madison. But there's something about knowing that there are so many other places I could be in the future that is exciting. Even though I should be in Pittsburgh right now (thanks Dad), I know that there are other opportunities out there and many more adventures that await. I'm still young and if the future is anything like the past 4 years, I'm ready and excited for my life to begin!

Lake Mendota in Madison

Labor Day Weekend - Badgers on the East Coast

This past Labor Day weekend, a college friend came to New Jersey to visit me and explore the state. It was great hanging out and catching up especially since we weren't too close in college. It's weird knowing that we only graduated 4 months ago. It feels so much longer!
I took her to the Edison Tower and of course, the shore. It was too bad our trip to the beach was cut short because of lightning in the area.

the Atlantic Ocean

View of Sandy Hook from a scenic overlook

On Labor Day, we went into the city for free kayaking and a walk on the Brooklyn Bridge. Rain was also supposed to be in the forecast but it turned out to be a beautiful, sunny day. It was great fun and got our tans back as well as got sunburned. Oh well, it was worth it!

View of the city from Hoboken, NJ

free kayaking on the Hudson - note: taking pictures on water is hard but definitely worth it

Train concert @ MLB FanCavve

Summer is always filled with exciting events, especially in New York City. I don't go into the city often but recently I've begun to appreciate all the opportunities and fun to be had. There are free concerts, free food events and free activities all around the city. I needed an adventure and some excitement in my life so yesterday, I went to a free Train concert! I couldn't pass it up because who doesn't like a free event. I left my shell and headed to the city to meet up with a cousin and her friends.

The thing is that they only let the first 200 people in so I was actually a bit worried that we wouldn't make it. We got there two hours before the show started and turns out that it wasn't even crowded! 

It was a chill concert in a small but nice venue. It was definitely worth the trek into the city and well worth the wait. Hearing songs like Drive By and Drops of Jupiter live was an awesome experience.

 

ART 448: Photo Essay - In the Madison community

I enjoy exploring my surroundings while learning more about my community and meeting new people along the way. One thing I've done is volunteer. Last year, I joined Badger Volunteers and chose to work at Porchlight, a place that offers permanent housing and employment opportunities to homeless people in the Dane County area in order to help them towards independence. My volunteer work consisted of helping in the kitchen to prepare food for their Porchlight Products program. Before I volunteered there, I honestly had no idea that this place existed but I'm glad I found it. Through this experience, I realized that there is more beyond my own peers on this campus. Not only was I able to serve others through my own love for food and cooking but it was also rewarding to know that I am making a difference in my community.

On the first day of volunteering, we received more information on Porchlight and learned more about its mission.

In the kitchen, we prepared and packaged pancake and scone mixes, which are sold online and at various retail outlets.

We also helped make an orzo salad for Daisy Cafe.

Another Badger volunteer cuts cheese into cubes for the orzo salad.

I washed apples that were later made into applesauce.

This is Carlos, an employee who has endured a lot before coming to Madison. Yet, he has a positive attitude and it is obvious that he is determined and hardworking.

This is Rob, another employee and one of the leaders in the kitchen. He would greet us each week and always had something for us to do. He has been working at Porchlight for almost 2 years and adds energy to the kitchen.

The applesauce is canned, labeled and finally ready to be sold.